Fiarytales...
07.10.06 (6:04 am) [edit]Fairytale
Something that was made up for a childs purpose of amusement, usually invovleding knights, dragons, fairys, and things of the like.
Do fairytales only exist when were children, or do they stay with us until the end of time?
06.29.06 (6:27 am) [edit]
Now- we all know that everyone has probably loved someone so much, that it has made them cry... But have you ever feared something so much that it has made you cry?
I have. And it's not the greatest feeling in the world. What if you lost that one thing that makes you happy?... or that one person that makes you happy?... What would you do?... Could you go on with your everyday life?... or Would your heart shatter and your world stop? ...
If you have the chance of preventing such a thing from happenening- do so. If you have the chance to change something that could later hurt you in the end- try it. Once you lose that one thing that gives you all the happiness in the world, you might not beable to get it back... because...
[Some people just dont give second chances]
Just put a Fake smile on...
06.26.06 (10:21 am) [edit]this is something my GIRLFRIEND wrote on this, i am not in love with myself lol. (yes thats me)
Is it true you only have one real, true love? Can it be true? Is it really possible that once you've found that one person that makes your life complete, there is NO one else? What does it take to make your one person...? Your one and only love...? The one you spend the rest of your life with? Is it that were always looking, or that fate just happens to cross us at the right time?
Theres many things to wonder about, many questions that need to be answered. But can we possibly answer them all ourselves? Or do we need someone else to help us answer them?...
It takes something special to be your one and only, your other half... You cant settle for what you have if its not right, and you cant settle for the first thing that walks by... they have to be just right... everything you could ever hope or want in a significant other.
Significant Other
Someone you can call up at 4 in the morning to tell them about a dream, a nightmare, a hope, a problem, a worry... or just because your lonely. Someone to tell all your deepest darkest secrets- knowing they wont tell nobody else. A certain person that you trust your life with, because you know they have no cause to hurt you. Someone that you would go to the end of the world for, someone you would do anything in the world to see them smile. A person you would give everything for... someone who never gets tired of you or what you have to say. A significant other who loves everything about you, inside and out. Someone who can see you for who you really are, someone that can see everything you dont. A person who can truly and completely take your breath away. [Someone without even touching or saying a word, it's just that look] Someone who knows what your thinking before you tell them, and someone that when you say your fine- they know your not. They can see behind every fake smile, behind every fake laugh.
Your significant other.... a person that makes your world go round.
Once you've found your significant other, you should probably hang on to them. Because once you let them go, and your world shatters... who's going to fix it? The only person that can fix it is the one that broke it... THEN- your world officially stops. They are no longer there, to make it go round....
You make My world go Round...
sigh
01.19.06 (6:30 am) [edit]hello hello! yep, im back!
for good? who knows.
yes ive gone through alot of changes while ive been gone.
my depression? nope lol
my boredom? gone
uhh my obsession with anime? also gone :(
yeah ivegone from anime to emo
so sad really
for anyone who cares-
i have a new gf, whom i love very much
i have a myspace! http://www.myspace.com/sdxpim...
im emo now
ive kinda lost touch with most anime (il watch movies occasionally)
uhh i have a myspace! http://www.myspace.com/sdxpim...
evileye evileye.tblog.com needs a myspace as well! make her get one!
im hungry
i need a new job
and thats about it
life is good! everybody dance!
il try to be on more, but if not see me on myspace
my new poem, finally
12.15.05 (11:19 am) [edit][u]Nothing But A Scene[/u]
Softly treading on broken glass
a shattered mirror, from a shattered past
careful now, do not disturb
that which slumbers but never stirs
laid about across the floor,
near books and chairs, a half-hinged door;
a lampshade askew, slightly ablaze;
and curtains ripped in what seemed be a craze;
there on the left, with a few marks on the wall;
next to some papers, and a sullen rag doll;
was that which slumbered and never stirred
from upon all this, i had concerned
myself, for the meaning was unlear
no motive or reason, none would appear
but one thing i saw, through destruction and scene,
the neverending nightmare, now surreal as a dream,
the body that laid, and the shadow it cast
was a once tortured soul, from a once tortured past
Love between friends: a teen confession
12.05.05 (4:26 pm) [edit]i really dont know how to start this off, but ok.
before i do tho, i just want u to know i dont expect anything from this. nothign at all, i just feel i needed to let u know. it would make me feel better, so dont think its all awkward now, just please be the saem. dont apologize if u have to, cuz i already know. i just really need to tell u b4 i get hurt with it
when i thought u were upset at me, i got really depressed. i thought it was cuz u were mad, and so was my other friend, and i was mad at someone else. but then those 2 cleared up, and i still felt as bad, if not worse. it was then i realized why. its becuz, i love u. lol sounds weird doesnt it? i know it does, and im afraid of telling u this cuz i dont want anythign to change between us. i have u as a friend, and i dont want to lose that or anything like i almost did.
but when i say this, its not cuz i like u, or that i just want someone. ive thought about it, and theres no mistake how i feel. i do. i told u all those things about u i realized, and all of those things i liked about u. the different expressions u have, and all the different ways u act to all of the different things that happen to u.
but the one thing i noticed, is how u feel about uself. how u simply dont realize how beautiful u really are, inside and out. that u can be happy, and that every day u claim to look like shit, or ur hair is bad. when u dont see that u cant ever look bad. it really is, a terrible tradegy. ur so much better than what u say u are, i hope u can learn to realize that one day.
and i know i really shouldnt be telling u this now. i shouldnt. the way ur feeling right now, and how confused u are, im probably only making it worse. and im sorry about that. the last thing i would ever want to do is to make u upset, or sad, and angry, or anything.
i just need to tell u so i dont become depressed again, or so i dont end up getting hurt again.
im just afraid that by telling u this, itl ruin whatever we have now. i still want to be ur friend, and i never want to lose u as that. sure, id like it if we were more than that but im extremely content with just being ur friend, although i wish we could hang out like maybe once even.
please dont ever consider me lower than friend becuz of this, and please dont consider it a joke. dont feel bad for me, dont pity me, dont do anything but whatever u feel. i dont want an apology or anything. i just wanted u to know how i felt about u, and its that i love u
thanksgiving
11.24.05 (6:39 am) [edit]hello everyone! happy thanksgiving! it was hailing just b4.. and snowing last night. not hot enough to stick tho lol.
hope u all have a happy turkey day. sleep well on ur day off, and eat until u cant eat no more!
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; 
& nbsp; &n bsp; i want this shirt
doesnt remind me
11.17.05 (3:24 am) [edit]alright, have u ever listened to the song Doesnt Remind Me, by Audioslave?
------------------------- -------------------
I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
------------------------- -------------------
what do those lyrics mean to you? i was listening to it this morning, and those lyrics made me think. what does he mean be doesnt remind him of anything? why does he like it?
well, it could be that he doesnt care. that could be why he likes them. maybe hes not religious, as he likes gospel music, speaking in tongues? those are references to religion, specifically christianity. is he an unreligious person? he likes it, becuase it doesnt mean anything to him. is that it? radio talk- not many people really care about that. they want music, talk is just filler space. no one cares for that.
but on the other hand, there are some lines which could mean something else, quite the opposite of not caring. walking the streets of japan until your lost, studying faces, speaking in tongues, driving backwords in the fog... all of that could mean something else. what if it doesnt remind him of anything, because they are new experiences? what if he is enthralled by them, all of these new things hes never seen or known before, new adventures or excitement, danger, fun, just having a good time. feelings of enlightenment, amazement of things youve never thought possible, things youve only heard of in books or saw on tv... things you can only feel by doing them. maybe, thats what he means when he says he likes them... because they dont remind him of anything hes ever seen or felt before.
then again, maybe its just a song...
me time
11.15.05 (4:12 am) [edit]i think im gonna try and come back to tblog more often, so hey everyone...
yea i was busy. i had a job, a gf, all that. u know that right? well heres what u dont-
i still have a job, im lookin for a new one tho. too many bills
ive become addictred to myspace, check me out http://myspace.com/sdxpimp
i dont have a gf anymore, she cheated on me. its a long story, but idk. im still upset over it, kinda down and depressed. i need someone right now, but no one. im lookin
im in school, bored cuz we have no teacher for like months at a time.
and i have a car and a drivers liscences! yea im a adriver now.
and thats about it.
goth kid
11.01.05 (5:39 pm) [edit]i have been out! for halloween! yes, i was a goth kid for halloween. i dyed my hair black (from bleached blonde, so its very very black), wore me some goth eye shadow, those 2olb pair of black baggy pants with another 20lbs of chains, and a black shirt. i made a good goth kid. lol
for some pics of it, check out my myspace ::see below::
i been gone
10.19.05 (7:38 am) [edit]once again, im letting u all know im not dead. and here, i was forced to make a myspace. check me out,
http://www.myspace.com/sdxpimp" title="http://www.myspace.com/sdxpimp" target="_blank"http://www.myspace.com/sdxpim... yea thats me
who i be
10.15.05 (12:08 pm) [edit]to all of u who read my last post, i was kidding. id never cheat on anyone, i dont "broaden my options", i dont do anything like that lol. im not like that. i may be pimp, but im not [i]a[/i] pimp. yes, it is a difference!
i went to Smiles entertainment center last night, for lock-in. they lock the door, from 12am-6 and u play stuff for free. mostly, we played pool and ddr. i went with my 2 best friends and my gf. so yea! it was fun. whats not fun? getting 3 hours of sleep then going to work.
dont get it
10.10.05 (4:30 pm) [edit]i dont get it. i really dont.
for a while now, as u all should know, i had a problem with a certain person. this person, ive said ive been in love with and i had alot of really melancholy days, days when i was really sad and wanted to be with her no matter what. eventually, it got so bad i decided to stop liking her, which is hard. and it was very hard, till i met someone else. now, shes my gf and ive forgotten all about the original girl.
so finally, i am happy. but now, no one else is. why?
my friend is dealing with issues involving her bf and breaking up for his reasons, making her sad. my other friend is confused on i dont know what. my cuzin is sad she has no one and everyone else does. and theres alot more. its liek, my sadness makes everyone else happy. my happiness causes sadness to others. i shouldnt think of it this way, but it seems like that to me.
i dont get it...
and another thing- my cuzin is having a 'party' thing. i use the '' because shes not the type to really have those kind of parties. but the thing is, her friend wants me to be there becuz she likes me. but i have a gf already! of course, i would never cheat on anyone, let alone her. but... is it already cheating if i know what the intents are? it doesnt feel right...
here
10.01.05 (2:29 pm) [edit]dont forget about me... lol im sorry every1 im still here! advent children... good
sleep... good
lol i need both.
im late for my date!
boring
09.21.05 (7:21 am) [edit]im rarely on anymore. ive no free time! between school, work, social life, and pimp, i just cant seem to find any time. i had a half day, so today i got some time. heh heh
hows it going? pretty good. who cares? no one! lol
im gonna tell u's anyway!
lotsa lotsa music. i got a list from a girl in my class, like 40 bands. i have to check them all out.
and right now im eating. yep. thats about it...
and theres tons of other stuff goin on i cant really "discuss", some bad, some good, some amazing.
day trip
09.16.05 (6:44 pm) [edit]well, i went to NY for the day and saw dane cook. let me start at the begining-
as we were walking out of grand central, i saw a lady running, then get pickpocketed from some guy who bumped into her. that was cool. he was good, very good. the lady didnt even realise it till she got way far up and was looking around like 'wha?'
then, we basically walked around alot. theres like a mcdonalds EVERYWHERE. went down to times square, then over to espn zone. they had some NASCAR racers there, on tv signin autographs. my friends dad got on camera, idk if on tv heh heh. and a huge arcade zone place.
we went to Virgin megastore. that is the single greatest place ive ever been. thousands of cds, and movies, and they have some places to hang out, and some anime and listening stations. its just... beautiful. i got 30 Seconds to Mars cd, i like them and wanted it. and we saw the ultimate bean bag, but instead it has like memory foam or somthin in it, and u can fluff it back. they had ones so big, it would eat u. in fact, there was one sooo big, they didnt have it in the store... and u must take a test to see if u can handle it... no lie. my friend is getting one lol
the hershey store! worlds largest hershey bar, 5 lbs of chocolate! it was huuuge
i also walked to hells kitchen. not the show, the area. u see Daredevil? then ud know.
i high fived the naked cowboy!!!
at MSG, we waited and saw dane cook. dane cook is a silly bitch. lol. it was taped too, so itl probable be on tv. crazy awesome. the warm up comedian was funny too. shut up and get the jelly u twat!!!! lol. rock quotes. ul see....
all in all, it was fun. i kinda felt like a country boy there... my clothes were all different from what everyone wore... idk. it was weird. i was all left out... it was fun tho.
and on a final note, i may have finally found myself. kinda in that spiritual sense, but more like my place. not in society, but in like social-ness. u know? liek... the way i act is no longer inconsistent. if i knew the person, id be more comfortable around. around someone i didnt know, id usually be quiet. like i said in a way way way back post, my personality did change, but now i act every way with everyone. it evened out on both sides... like how i act with friends and with strangers. im happy.
the greater tradegy
09.09.05 (7:07 pm) [edit]wow. this is a strange occurance.
everyone is aware of the immense damge hurricane katrina has caused. (i know what ur thinking, 'another blog about hurricane victims? pfff.' but b4 u go thinking that, just wait). some 10s of thousands possibly dead, thousands missing, damage caused astronomical. and even still, the water must be drained. and then we must deal with a potential biohazard site from the extreme pollution and dead bodies in that water. is New orleans even usable anymore?
and then we shift our thoughts to this sunday... what day is it? its the anniversery of 9/11. the day someone [i]dared [/i]to attack my beautiful country. the day we will never forget. 2 of NY important work places and landmarks collapsed, taking down most of the surrounding buildings. 100s of firefighters and close to 2500 victums altogether. truly, a day to be remembered.
now, i know this doesnt matter, and it shouldnt. but my personal opinion, is which one is the greater tradegy? u cant really compare the 2. but, i would have to say 9/11 is. the hurricane, yes caused more death, destruction and irreversible damage. but 9/11 was done purposely. u cant stop nature from happening, but human beings actually decided to waste the lives of thousands just to try and prove their point. someone actually thought it was a good thing to do such a horrible act. this is something that could have been stopped, just by a simple conscience. but it wasnt. watching the videos of it, and the planes hitting the towers and everyones reactions... just brings a tear to ur eye. its terrible. ud expect this kind of thing from nature... but from [i]people?[/i] it sickens me.
whats been up
09.06.05 (3:46 pm) [edit]finally, i had my very own 3 day weekend. one for school, one for work. today ends my work one. all we did, was we bought 2 good movies and watched them, and we bought cookied dough! well, i did. and i ate the entire stick. on sat., i ate about half till i threw up. then i finished it sunday. i just bought more today lol. i feel kinda sick...
and despite my 3day weekends, i somehow managed to not get any sleep. idk y
i wanna go on road trips again!!! those r fun. i want to go out of state next time tho. im going to vermont with my freinds next summer, and i also want to plan one to multiple states. like ohio is a def. lol. ive always wanted to go there.
thats all ive been doing in my life. sry i dont have any interesting things to say. pre calc is very hard, and math was always my best subject!! o well, il try. but i dont really want to be in school. i wanna stay home, hang out all day and go places. typical teen right? good. i havent felt this way ever, till this summer started. and it makes me happy... so very happy.
what doesnt make me happy, is i cant find anyone to go out with. i sound like http://evileye.tblog.com/ evileye dont i? well, its not really that i cant.. i just cant focus on anyone else. sigh. i am and have been in love with this one girl, ive had ti since 2nd grade and it grows each day. we're friends, and hanging out is good enough for me... dont try to say things like 'go for it' cuz ive tried, there are reasons i cannot explain to u guys that have nothing to do with me.
another thing, i cant seem to catch the bus. like this morning, i sleepwalked over to my alarm and shut it off. without knowing. that sucks!!!!
new stuff
09.02.05 (7:25 pm) [edit]it has come to my attention, that trying to balance a social life between school and work is very hard. i averaged it out, and i spent (not counting weekends at all)
45 hours on school
25 hours on work
30 hours sleeping
which leaves me with about 5 hours a day. 1 in the morning, 1 at night, 2 doing whatever, 1 getting ready for work. thats not much time at all. remember, this is NOT counting weekends. only during the week. i havent even had time to talk to evileye!!!! :(
and school is much easier. i dont have the last period, so i can just leave. physics got easier, i have economics which is easy, english is the same difficulty but i love english, but math got way harder. very way harder. :(
ok ok, theres a hurricane going on. lots of people are suffering and dying. i want to care, and i want to feel sad about them. but i dont. idk y, but it doesnt effect me unless im watching it or hearing it. and then, it doesnt affect me when im no longer watching or hearing. i know i should, but idk if i dont care cuz it doesnt effect me, or that even if i was in that situation i still wouldnt care? its always been my dream to declare and lead martial law... lol. see? i can even crack a joke at it.
does this make me a bad person? i feel like a bad person..
before school starts, we went on a....
08.28.05 (5:35 pm) [edit]road trip! lol. basically across my entire state, lengthwise. about a 1.5 hour drive. we went up there to check out one of the most haunted places in my state, dudleyville... or dudleytown. whichever it is. we spent like and hour finding the place, just driving around all the streets where we had the idea where it was. after we finally found it, we didnt really know where to park the car, seeing as how it was filled with NO TRESPASSING signs everywhere. we basically sat there while it rained for another half hour, and decided to just ask the peoepl that owned it if we could enter for a 'school project' we were doing. which really isnt a lie, we might do it on that. but no one answered, so we just decided to go in.
about half way up, i got the feelin something was behind us. but i didnt wanna say anything, cuz then itd seem like i was scared. i just constantly glanced back. then, i noticed my friend kept doing it too. hes like, 'i keep thinking someones behind us. its freaky as shit.' me too! but yea. then, ::rustle rustle:: "what the hell!??!" 2 deer fawn come out of the bush and look at us, then run away. that was really cool, but surprised us. then some dog started barkin, probably alerting the owners that we trespassing. so we left, when KABOOM! tree falls down. that was uncool, yet completly aweosme. so we left.
and then we drove around for a while, and we went to some state park, where we climbed up some sort of 3 story watch tower! and i fell down the stairs. and at the park we fought off bees! lol
more driving, all and all it was fun. we fooled around alot, saw some cool things, did some cool stuff. my fave view of all the place was when we were driving on the mountains, and u could see the clouds. not see as in a cloudscape, but can see them in 3D version. it was amazing. a view to die for lol
a great way to end a summer...
some
08.24.05 (6:02 am) [edit]ok, ok, ok. the army called me. they want me to join, duh. but they said i can have ANY army occupation id want basically. cuz we took the ASVAB test, armed services vocational aptitude battery. its for what ud work with in the army. i got like a 93, which i guess was like the highest in my school or somthing. or one of the. so im like.... secret operative? assassin? military leader of my own country?
::scattered whispers:: ummmm we are not at liberty to say...
lol so thats cool.
my boss owns like 3 subway stores, i work at one. now, he wants me to work at another one too, and get a raise cuz thats how good i am lol.
i went to the movies, saw 40 yr old Virgin, and Red Eye. red eye was not so good, but virgin was an excellent movie and really funny. i suggest seeing that.
andddd thats about it. sortin thru some of my friends problems again... best wishes to them! lol. woot.
alone
08.19.05 (6:02 pm) [edit]i have a phobia. well, its more a fear than a phobia, but arent they the same? anyways
i fear being alone. most of us do, but i have an extreme fear of it. i cant take it. if i dont see anyone i know (family doesnt count) for like 6 hours, i start to become scared. not scared for them. just scared il be alone. then it turns to worry, fear, and then depression. after about half a week id become suicidal. and suicide is something i absolutly DETEST and would never do under any circumstances. but its better than being alone...
and like all my rantings, it involves music. music can prolong my feelings of alone for about another half a week. making my whole stay- one week before i get messed up psychologically.
i hate being alone
too much music
08.16.05 (4:41 am) [edit]ha? could there be such a thing as too much?
well, as ive said b4 ive taken a liking to this punk/emo type music. and its not like im BECOMING this, no. i just broadened my musical horizons with a new genre of music. but anyways
so yea. all ive been doing is finding a band, downloading like 10 or 12 of their songs. and then we found a magazine with 1000 songs to download now! so we did. lol. listening to the good ones is fun, but not the bad ones.
and school is almost here again. sigh. im not really looking forward to it, but i kinda am. its the time to see everyone and how they changed, what they been up to. catch up with friends and non friends, new friends. yesterday a couple of my friends came down from where they live (which is another town) and we all went to the mall and i got my hawthorne heights cd finally. and we just hung out and had fun. grrrr food court was closed!!! but i had some japanese food, cuz that was still open. yumm lol.
not looking forward to school becuz its gonna be my final year. no more school, friends, or anything easy like that. im gonna have to get out, find a real job and work on starting my life. i dont wanna!!!!
thunderstormsssss
08.12.05 (4:52 pm) [edit]finally. ive been waiting all summer and winter for it. a massive thunderstorm! yes! ones with flashes so bright ud think it was daylight without a sky. where u can [i]see[/i] the bolt coming down, and feel the thunder. it was amazing.
whats not so amazing, is having 3 hours of sleep in 2 days, walking home in a massively severe thunderstorm (very scary), getting wet and cold from rain, all while having a headache and not feeling quite well. not so fun.
magical sphere of billiards.
08.09.05 (5:30 pm) [edit]the magic 8ball.
for millenia, it has puzzled curious mankind with its astounding ability to acurately answer yes or no questions. some would think, its a 50-50 chance right? wrong. magic 8balls know all, and tells all.... in the form of a simple yes, no, maybe, or ask again later.
today, we have found a magic 8ball in my friends house. as a fun time, i asked it a question. it was right. then right again. and again. and again. i decided to ask it some will i? questions. the answers came out in my favor, or what was most plausible.
my question is, how? how does a simple device with a tiny shape floating in water know so many things?? is it truly a device of the gods, sent down to tell us what is needed to know? or was it created by something far more evil... in content against the gods? defying all they have kept from us, liek fire and knowledge? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS ALL KNOWING SPHERE??? will it be the end of us all? or will it be our savior??
when its all over, will we ever have known from who or where it came from?