my new poem, finally
12.15.05 (11:19 am) [edit][u]Nothing But A Scene[/u]
Softly treading on broken glass
a shattered mirror, from a shattered past
careful now, do not disturb
that which slumbers but never stirs
laid about across the floor,
near books and chairs, a half-hinged door;
a lampshade askew, slightly ablaze;
and curtains ripped in what seemed be a craze;
there on the left, with a few marks on the wall;
next to some papers, and a sullen rag doll;
was that which slumbered and never stirred
from upon all this, i had concerned
myself, for the meaning was unlear
no motive or reason, none would appear
but one thing i saw, through destruction and scene,
the neverending nightmare, now surreal as a dream,
the body that laid, and the shadow it cast
was a once tortured soul, from a once tortured past
Love between friends: a teen confession
12.05.05 (4:26 pm) [edit]i really dont know how to start this off, but ok.
before i do tho, i just want u to know i dont expect anything from this. nothign at all, i just feel i needed to let u know. it would make me feel better, so dont think its all awkward now, just please be the saem. dont apologize if u have to, cuz i already know. i just really need to tell u b4 i get hurt with it
when i thought u were upset at me, i got really depressed. i thought it was cuz u were mad, and so was my other friend, and i was mad at someone else. but then those 2 cleared up, and i still felt as bad, if not worse. it was then i realized why. its becuz, i love u. lol sounds weird doesnt it? i know it does, and im afraid of telling u this cuz i dont want anythign to change between us. i have u as a friend, and i dont want to lose that or anything like i almost did.
but when i say this, its not cuz i like u, or that i just want someone. ive thought about it, and theres no mistake how i feel. i do. i told u all those things about u i realized, and all of those things i liked about u. the different expressions u have, and all the different ways u act to all of the different things that happen to u.
but the one thing i noticed, is how u feel about uself. how u simply dont realize how beautiful u really are, inside and out. that u can be happy, and that every day u claim to look like shit, or ur hair is bad. when u dont see that u cant ever look bad. it really is, a terrible tradegy. ur so much better than what u say u are, i hope u can learn to realize that one day.
and i know i really shouldnt be telling u this now. i shouldnt. the way ur feeling right now, and how confused u are, im probably only making it worse. and im sorry about that. the last thing i would ever want to do is to make u upset, or sad, and angry, or anything.
i just need to tell u so i dont become depressed again, or so i dont end up getting hurt again.
im just afraid that by telling u this, itl ruin whatever we have now. i still want to be ur friend, and i never want to lose u as that. sure, id like it if we were more than that but im extremely content with just being ur friend, although i wish we could hang out like maybe once even.
please dont ever consider me lower than friend becuz of this, and please dont consider it a joke. dont feel bad for me, dont pity me, dont do anything but whatever u feel. i dont want an apology or anything. i just wanted u to know how i felt about u, and its that i love u